The dot, p.4
The Dot, page 4
“What the hell are you doing here?” the oracle says. Her voice always hisses like a snake when she speaks to me, and even cloaked as I am, she knows it’s me standing here in her doorway. While she waits for me to answer, I acknowledge her with a deep bow. Making sure that my arms and legs remain covered by my garments, I slip off my heavy, dark brown boots and place them on the shoe rack inside the door. Then I walk to her offerings bench and place the basket of fruits, nuts, herbs, and berries I’ve brought her. There I give a blessing and gratitude to The Source and ask for the protection of the oracle and the consciousness of all those present. I turn to face her and ask for her help.
“Please let me speak and tell you what has happened before throwing me out of here. I know you have an insight into what has happened and that The Source reveals everything to you. So, please, lady oracle, give me five minutes of your time. Can we speak somewhere in private? I can’t be here in the city. Then, if you wish me to leave, I will.” I lower my eyes to the ground as a sign of humility and respect.
“Come with me.” She leads me downstairs and to a small rocky chamber at the back of the crypt’s bare soil basement.
“You didn’t have your hands on the daggers that killed them, but it is your ganja that got them killed. That boy god, Zosimos, read your notes on the triple-threat marijuana strain, and then he took that fourth toke and a fifth. He’s doing more of it every day. And you! Of course, you grew enough of that killing weed to keep him stocked up for a decade. Now his DNA is back to ordinary human genomes, complete with anger and rage.
“You’re as guilty as he who was holding the black ceremonial dagger. Visákhá would forgive you, and Mahá loved you, but not me. I will never forgive you. The murder of our King and Queen deserves no forgiveness.”
The downstairs area of the crypt is cold. It's near freezing, which makes it perfect for the storage of the dead. While she speaks, I rub my hands together, trying to warm myself. A musky, damp-soil smell in the chamber reminds me of death. The odor triggers memories associated with visiting this place when I was a child and throughout my life when visiting the deceased. With my mind clear of her harsh words, I sense the oracle’s mind probing inside of my own. She’s scanning my thoughts, wielding her psychic ability to gather information on the purpose of my visit to her office. While I allow her intrusion into my mind, I explain why I have come to see her.
“There is a long history of aggression between our families. My people and yours have many similar interests in science and alchemy. But what separates us in the method also joins us in purpose. We both want to heal and cure diseases to make our population free of pain. I realize your family prepares the medicine and produces the methods to provide pharmaceuticals. I also realize our society has never shown you respect and acknowledgment for your work.
“That’s not why I’ve risked my life to visit you here today, but I want to let you know I’m not ignorant of your loathing for me and my coven. Despite your reasons, I am not here to argue about our grim history. I’m here to ask you to set our differences aside for the common good.“
Pushing her psychic intrusion out of my thoughts as best I can. The Source inside her is more potent than my powers can manage. I decide to let down my guard once more and surrender to her intrusion The struggle in my mind eases for a moment as she speaks.
“There is minimal trust within me for you and your words, but I sense The Source is compelling me to help. I cannot listen to your request. Not here. Not in the office. Too many people are visiting the royal bodies today, and one never knows what they may hear. We need to continue this conversation in the laboratory above my house. Meet me there in an hour. A secluded stairway at the back of my house leads to the lab.
“You are correct that we are taking too many risks from someone seeing you here. Cover your face, and put on your boots. Go now.”
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“While most of us study Humanoid medicine, I find it isn’t very accurate for human physiology. The people of Ziran are not biomechanical beings. Instead, I have spent years researching and have discovered the medical history of twentieth-century Earth. The research shows that exposure to X-ray in cancer treatment destroyed much of the cancerous cells, but the X-ray damage to the DNA strings caused an unraveling of the chromosome structure.”
Standing in a cramped space in her lab above her house. The door at the top of her stairs is at my back. I attempt to justify my marijuana test results for my developed crops and the medicinal purpose.
The oracle listens with her arms folded over her twisted and disfigured body. She sits here in her small, rusted wheelchair. Her face looks as if she were two hundred years old, but she’s the same age as my parents.
“As we continue to live under this X-ray emitting neutron star, Kelly, the population of our planet suffers a similar degradation to the telomere and eventual unraveling of the DNA strands of the chromosome as cancer treatment patients did on Earth. The silverback strain of my marijuana (triple-threat) that I produced was an attempt to cure the degradation of the telomere.
“Whether or not you consider it miraculous, it works. The benefits were visible and verifiable from the blood tests of over eighty percent of the patients we tested. The results were even better with the second test group.
“The side effect of this marijuana produced incredible improvements to a person’s cognitive abilities. However, as with all medications, there are limits to effectiveness and improper overuse causes unwanted side effects. In this case, when inhaling my wild berry-tasting ganja, with the scent of burnt orange and pine, it has the potential to undo the DNA alterations caused by the Humanoid serum.
“When at first I didn’t know what the effect was. I figured it would require an mRNA serum to alter the Humanoid serum. I did not focus my research and practice on the human genome and our DNA. But overdosing on the smoking of the triple-threat ganja put the DNA back to the original human structure.”
The oracle claps and displays a grandiose smile that causes her uneven cheekbones to push higher up and her eyes to bulge. “Congratulations, Vallena.” she spits her words in a demonstrative tone to match her actions. “You understand the biology of human organics. Still, you are wrong on a few facts and ignorant of the full impact of your miracle marijuana production.
“Allow me.” she motions for me to take a seat. Boilers and distilling coils that lead from large potbelly kettles that she and her family use to produce medicines fill her laboratory. There is very little space in this claustrophobic attic and its low beam ceiling adds to the discomfort for someone as tall as me. I look around for any place to take a seat. With a loud, slow breath of disgust, she clears a few trays and flasks from the corner of a table to provide a place for me to sit.
“Since telomeres are nucleoprotein complexes with a primary function of capping the chromosome ends to prevent unwanted DNA damage, plant-based proteins will not repair the damage from the X-ray. You would be an idiot to think some marijuana crop is the source for treatment and repair. Which you are, by the way. In my review of your work and careless approach to freeing our civilization by smoking dope, you are most certainly an idiot.”
She continued without taking a breath or showing social customs that align us in a joint effort. “In all of my research results, I have found that every strain of your plants that we use to produce the pharmaceuticals, and that our medical people distribute freely to the community, promulgate cellular degradation. Specifically, your dope is causing the T-Cells, the CD4 T cells, to cause premature aging in the population.
“Meanwhile, in our society, you and your coven are regarded with high esteem. Your efforts are being awarded more and more of our scarce resources to develop ever more strains of marijuana.
“The population should shut you down! For my family and me, it is little surprise to us that your efforts have resulted in the murders of your best friends, our King, and our Queen. Let me also inform you that our research shows that your silver back strain does indeed cause miraculous cognitive abilities in human brain functions. However, as I have said, the damage far outweighs the benefit. So sort of like me saying to you, here, take this pill.” She hands me a large blue capsulated pill, followed by a cup of water.
“Go ahead, Vallena. Take the fucking pill. You want us to work together, right?”
Hesitant and with skepticism, I take the soft-gelled blue pill from her deformed hand, and despite every fiber of my being opposing the action . . .
“Can I ask what this is?”
“No, you cannot ask me what it is. I thought you wanted my help. Don’t tell me the great witch of Ziran is afraid to take a tiny blue pill made by a crippled Egyptian alchemist. How will we ever work together if you can’t trust me? Take the pill, Vallena!”
Before I place the smooth, tightly packed pill in my mouth, I don’t know why but I close my eyes tight and touch the pill to the heart-shaped brooch Mahá gave me on the day we made our vows. Then I swallow the capsule.
“That’s it. In a moment, you’ll feel the heat in your loins. Deep within your pelvis, a pulsing of energy will become evident. A moment later, the energy grows to your lower abdomen and then to the upper abdomen. Upward through your body, the energy climbs, and soon, your heart and throat are encapsulated with the sensation of aliveness. Almost ecstasy.
“You can’t speak, and you’ll feel awkward. It’s as if a foreign being is capturing your body. Then it hits the penial gland at the lower back of your brain, and a flash of energy then hits the center of your brain. There you’ll sit as the column of energy thrives and vibrates from the pelvis to above the crown of your head. This center of energy will hold you in a warm embrace by The Source.
“And now, I will continue speaking, but you won’t hear me anymore. The Source is what you will hear, and The Source will communicate with you directly, just like it does through me. But don’t worry. You won’t end up crippled and deformed the way I turned out.”
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The sensations took over precisely as she described, and step by step, in the sequence she defined even while she continues telling me about it. And while the effects surprised me, it was the exactness of her descriptions that gripped my attention. Besides the rest of it, I can smell the fresh clean air as if the rain has just ended and the sky was cleansed. My hands and face become warm, and my body’s energy centers, from the pelvis to the top of my head, I vibrate with intense energy.
Before my eyes, I watch as her entire body changes. Her crooked and deformed shape becomes straight, and her radiance elegant. Her face is beautiful, and her hair is now shoulder length, wavey, black, and shines in perfect brilliance. As she speaks now, her voice is no longer the harsh hiss of a snake, but it is soft and pleasing with the tone of angels, and it causes me to relax and listen with vehemence to every word.
“There is nothing like being completely afraid to remind you how alive you are. This is an experience that shakes you to your core. Do you recall from the education you received at the monastery that, rather than seek protection or strategize a course of action, you should instead recognize fear as a message from The Source? It’s a coherent message that your true self, your inner being, is not in alignment with Source energy,” she says. Then I realize at this moment it isn’t the oracle speaking to me. This is The Source communicating through her.
“Negative emotions brought about through feelings, such as fear, are catalysts to helping identify what you want. The things you are asking for will help you identify how you can work your way out of a powerful experience. However, if you can accept that nothing is ever really going wrong and that it is your thoughts that are out of alignment with Source energy, then these feelings are the clarifying moments for what you seek.
“When you practice understanding in this way, it prevents you from making things worse. Your words to us were pretty strong about what’s gone wrong, and remember, nothing has ever gone wrong. It’s all going right. The missing bit is that you have got to define what you want. Your awareness of what’s going on is so strong that when you get ahold of what you really know, some of your old beliefs have to fall by the wayside. As they fall by the wayside, it becomes an uncomfortable experience for you.
“In other words, since you are a creator, as all humans are creators, and since all things are possible to a creator, and in this time-space reality, a lot of desire is developing within you. Since The Source can deliver all of it to you, then don’t you want to be keen and focused on what you are asking for? Life provides you with contrasting varieties to sharpen your awareness about what you want because it feels good to focus on the expansion you desire for your life. It feels good to define what you want. Unless you don’t believe what you define, because then you can’t have it. Avoid these sorts of tug-of-war going on inside of you.
“Align your desire with The Source and then you know you will receive exactly what you ask for. When you care about how you feel, then you will guide your thoughts with precision. This way, you begin to feel good, and it replaces the negative emotion from the fear. If you can’t feel good or have doubts about getting what you desire, then it’s because you’re being too specific about your desires. That is always the answer. So then, it’s time to change the momentum of your desires to step into a more general place. Stop being specific and go more general about the desire.
“Realize that part of you is Source energy inside your physical body. The more significant part of you is aware of who you are. It is with you all the time. You cannot get away from the feeling of resonance or lack of resonance when you move away from that. The fact that this part of you exists is the reason you have emotions. No matter how hard you might try, you cannot mute or limit the impact of your emotions.
“So if the emotions you are experiencing are negative, it is always the case that you are not aligned with your Source energy. It’s undeniable, and when you are consciously aware of it and begin advocating with yourself to align with it, then you will begin to notice that when you say nice things about yourself, you resonate with The Source within you. Because of the laws of nature, The Source only feels nice things about you.
“Therefore, when you say nice things about others, you resonate with The Source within you, who only feels nice things about others. When you look for your limitations, you separate yourself to some degree from who you really are because The Source within you does not see, know, or give any attention to any limitation. When you’re mad at yourself or mean to yourself or towards anyone else, you pinch yourself off from that. Do you see it now?
“The existence of your Source, of who you really are, is always with you. So, if you want to live happily ever after, if you want to have the cure to suffering, have the love you desire, have the riches you want to spend, then you’ve got to find the resonance with that energy who knows the path between where you are and where you want to be. We will continue to give you guidance and ensure you never run out of any of it. The Source is like the genie out of the bottle who continues to give you endless wishes.
“Recognize that you cannot get away from your goodness, no matter how hard you try. You will never be able to separate yourself from the generous, loving attention of Source. Your emotions are an indication that it is so. As soon as you decide to just go with Source energy alignment, go with the ideas that Source has about you, then from that moment onward, you’re a winner, not a loser. Not in lack, you are abundant. Then and always a creator, not a victim. You have the resources, and you are not depleted.
“Clarity is here for the taking if you want it. Play with it and compare yourself to not one other being. That will take you off the path. Let your relationship be between what you are asking for and what you are realizing at any moment, and let that be what it’s about for a little while. Take your time to be gentle with yourself. Then watch what happens and feel what happens. We promise you it will go far past the emotions.
“We are not telling you this just because we want you to be happy in the absence of the things you want. That’s not what this is about. We want you to be happy so the things you want will come. If you need things before you are happy, it’s backward thinking. Be happy and the things you need will come naturally.”
The energy dissipates from within me, and the oracle’s body morphed back into the wheelchair and into her crippled and contorted body. Before I had time to analyze what had just happened and what I was told, her shrill and hissing voice returns too. She had never stopped talking, nor had she changed. I had a waking dream experience.
“Unfortunately,” she quipped as she rolls her loud, squeaking chair back a few meters away from me, then pulled on her earlobes. “The side effects of this pill will also cause a temporary loud ringing in your ears.”
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Before I could stop myself and plan a better thought or even a more positive course of action, I launched into her with fervor. “All of my life, you have treated me with contempt and disrespect. I have done nothing to earn your cruelty. Today I came to you with my hand open and asking for your help. Instead, you poisoned me with some blue pill and induced a trance state in my mind.
“If you can’t help me, say so. If you don’t want to help me, say so. But stop torturing me and using me as a punching bag for your enjoyment at the expense of my misery.”
She spins around in her ragged wheelchair and near tumbles over. After regaining control and balance, she rolls herself uncomfortably close to me. Squeak by squeak as her wheels grind their bearings against the hubs.
“There’s a reason for my disrespect for you that stems from your disregard for good medical practice. My family believes in clinical trials before we provide medication and treatment. You simply run lab tests and then you send the Royal Treasurer to force us into the production of making your marijuana into pharmaceuticals.
