The atonement, p.5
The Atonement, page 5
He was supposed to have gone to the movies with them tonight, but after learning that Allen had abandoned the party, Tim decided that he wouldn’t go either. He felt like he’d just be in the way. “She’d probably be glad to have Davis all to herself anyway” thought Tim sadly. But Tim knew he couldn’t allow himself to dwell on his feelings. So he turned the frame away from him and began to open his Bible to read.
Whenever Tim read, it was his style to simply open the Book and read whichever scripture the pages opened to. Today he happened upon the book of Proverbs, the eighteenth chapter and read, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord.”1
Tim quickly flipped past the scripture after reading it. He could feel a lump begin to form in his throat and he swallowed hard to clear it and his mind. The last thing he wanted to think about was finding a wife, when he couldn’t even find a girlfriend. He still didn’t know how all that was supposed to work now that he was a Christian. The last time he tried to date it turned into a church controversy and some people (actually it was only Mother Rose) wanted him to be kicked out of the church. Tim continued to flip pages as he fast-forwarded through the unpleasant memories of that episode of his life. When he stopped flipping, he was still in proverbs but now he was at the thirty-first chapter, which read, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”2 Tim decided to abandon the book of proverbs and the rest of the Old Testament for the book of Matthew. He started reading at the fourth chapter and continued until he got to some verses that arrested his attention.
“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee: Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way: first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Agree with thine adversary quickly whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence ‘til thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.”3
Even after being saved for some time, there were still things in the Bible, that Tim only understood vaguely and what he had just read was no exception. But for some reason the words seem rather prescient to him. It was almost as if he needed to read this particular scripture. He knew that it had something to do with reconciling with someone who has something against you, but he didn’t know why this was so important. Most of the time, if he knew someone didn’t like him, he just stayed out of his or her way. He thought about if he had offended anyone lately that he needed to apologize to. He hadn’t seen much of his friends, but no one seemed to be upset with him about it. The only person he could think of was Jim, but after visiting him in the hospital it seemed things between them were straight. Then there was Mother Rose, who he knew wasn’t very fond of him, but he was already bending over forwards, backwards, and sideways to try to make things good between them – and not with much success either. Tim decided to keep on reading. He’d think about it later when he had a chance to meditate on what he’d read. Before he went on, Tim took out his personal journal and noted the scripture within it. Who knows, maybe he’d take it to the good pastor to see what he thought.
Tim had gotten all the way to the 8th chapter when the bleating of the intercom interrupted him. He had no idea who would be calling on him at this time of night, besides Allen with some quirky request. Tim actually liked Allen’s impromptu visits, because they were always amusing and they reminded him of his college days and the hijinks he and Allen often got into. Like the time Allen won a birthday cake in a raffle and decided to have a birthday party even though it wasn’t anyone’s birthday, or when they went on a scouting mission all the way to Vermont to find old-fashioned cider donuts. Tim found himself rushing to find out what Allen was up to now.
“Roger, Bradley.”
“It’s Miss Russell, sir,” said Bradley in a very grave tone.
All of a sudden, Tim’s neck felt tight and he could feel a headache coming on.
“Send her up.”
Tim walked over to the door and listened for her arrival. He didn’t have to wonder what she wanted, because she only came to him for one thing. After a few minutes, he could hear her leather soled platform heels clicking against the tiled floor from all the way down the hall, warning that she was near. The slow-paced click grew steadier and louder until it was right at the door. Tim opened it and braced himself.
“Mom said you’re lending me $500.00 – and I’ll take large bills,” said Allyson as she blithely brushed passed Tim into his apartment. She was dressed in a royal blue, sheath style mini-dress with scalloped edges covered by a three-quarter, black overcoat and a funky looking pair of flesh-colored heels. Crazy looking high heels were Allyson’s trademarks. They seemed to be a cross between pumps and brogues. Tim could tell she had probably just come from the salon. Her normally curly sandy-blonde hair had been blown-out straight, touched up with golden highlights and smelled like cotton candy. Allyson held out a freshly manicured hand for her payment.
“And good evening to you, too, Allyson. How are you today?”
“Just get my money, man-whore. I haven’t got all night.”
“Seriously? Do you have to insult me every time you see me?”
“I don’t have to, but it’s just more fun this way.”
Tim bit his lip and tried to control his frustration and anger. “Don’t give in to her,” he continued to meditate, “Remember what you just read: love those that hate you, bless those that curse you, pray for those that despitefully use you. Besides, she’s still your sister.”
Tim turned and walked to his bedroom to get the money from his petty cash safe. Their mother had to curtail Allyson’s account privileges a while ago when she started school. During her first month at the University, she drained her personal account of a whopping $20,000.00. Since then their mother only allowed Allyson a more modest monthly allowance and access to two credit cards with set spending limits. When her allowance was spent and the cards were maxed out, Allyson would beg their mother for more money claiming some emergency and be sent to Tim, who would be reimbursed if and/or when their mother felt like it. It was the only time he’d ever see his sister with the exception of the mandatory family celebrations. Even when Tim was in the hospital, she would only come to see him when their mother dragged her there. Any time they spent together, even with their mother present to serve as a referee, usually ended up in an argument and Allyson always knew what to say or do to provoke one. Tim hated the rancor that had developed between them. What made it harder to bear was the fact that things hadn’t always been this way. There was a time when they were the best of friends, but that was long ago when they were both young children.
As Tim walked back out to the living room, he saw that Allyson had helped herself to some sparkling water he kept in the refrigerator, and was looking at a CD that he’d left lying on his coffee table.
“Marvin Sapp – My Testimony,” she said, as she read from the cover as Tim put the cash in an envelope. “Let me guess, a gift from the midget church girl?”
“No, it’s mine. I bought it myself.”
“Didn’t know you liked inspirational music. Or maybe you bought it to get your midget in the mood.”
“Don’t start, Allyson. Insulting me is one thing, but I’m not going to listen to you trash my friends.”
“You won’t have to hear anything else from me once I have my cash. Is that it?” she said as she reached for the envelope Tim was holding.
“Yes, but before I hand this over,” said Tim, as he held the cash out of her reach, “I want to know why you need so much money lately? Especially since I just handed you $800.00 not two weeks ago.”
“None of your business.”
“Sorry, I don’t like the idea of handing out money without knowing where it’s going.”
“Technically, it’s not your money. Mom’s going to wire it back to you next week.”
“Not the point.”
“Fine. I was going to use it to run away with my boyfriend to California and get high on weed,” smiled Allyson. “Sound familiar?”
Tim knew what she was referring to and he didn’t find it the least bit amusing. Leave it to her to bring up a particularly painful period in his past to use as material for a sarcastic barb. She always hit below the belt. He knew Allyson would just escalate her attack until he got angry enough to throw the money at her and tell her to get out. However, Tim was determined that it wouldn’t end up that way.
“How do I know you don’t want this for drugs?”
“Cause I’m not like you, hypocrite.”
“You can leave with this money or without it, Ally. What’s it going to be?”
“Why are you being such a **** ?! Getting all up in my business! What the hell is that all about?”
“Because believe it or not, I worry about you,” said Tim, “Lately it seems like you’ve been hemorrhaging money more than usual and the fact that you won’t tell me what it’s for makes me think you’re in some kind of trouble.”
“Your concern isn’t necessary. I know how to take care of myself. I’m not the one running around with some religious cult.”
“It’s not a cult. If you went with me sometime you’d see that.”
“If that was meant as an invitation, I’ll pass.”
“Think about it, Allyson. Can you honestly say you’re happy with your life right now?”
“You know what, forget this! I didn’t come here for a street corner sermon. If you don’t want to give me the money, fine. I have other means,” said Allyson as she turned to walk out.
Tim didn’t like the sound of that. The last thing he wanted was for his sister to end up in some compromising situation to get money.
“Allyson, wait!” said Tim grabbing her by the arm. Allyson snatched it away from his grasp.
“Here’s your money.”
“Finally!”
Allyson snatched it, pushed Tim aside and bolted toward the door.
“Your welcome!” Tim called after her. She didn’t even look back as she let the door slam behind her.
That’s the way it always went. When it came to Tim, Allyson always did her best to be as nasty and as cruel as she could possibly be. No matter how much Tim tried to get used to her behavior, it still hurt. It made him wonder what he could have done so long ago to make her hate him so much. She’d never bothered telling him and didn’t think she ever would. In the past, he’d tried to reach out to Allyson, but she always put up a wall of resistance. It made him think that maybe he should just give up on her. Then that scripture in the book of Matthew came back to his mind again – the one about being reconciled to one’s brother, or in his case, a sister. “I don’t know,” thought Tim, “In scripture it seems so simple, but I have a feeling that trying to apply it in real life is going to be a lot harder.”
Six
As she rode down in the elevator, Allyson counted her money to make sure it was all there. Despite her bluff, she would have been in some tough straights had Tim decided not to give it to her. But she always knew what to say to get what she wanted out of him. To her pleasant surprise, there was $800.00 instead of the $500.00 she’d originally asked for. The fresh bills may have clung together causing her brother to miscount them. “Too bad bro. Your loss is my gain,” she thought to herself as she put it in her purse. “Anyway, Tim has a job, not to mention that fat trust fund he cashed in when he turned 21, so it’s not like he’s going broke.” When the elevator opened in the lobby, she hurried out of the building and headed out to the driveway entrance where her sorority sisters were waiting for her. Allyson opened the door to the front passenger seat of their car and got in.
“It’s about time,” said the girl in the driver seat of the expensive silver sports car. She had long, dark, wavy hair and was wearing a close fitting green silk dress with a deep v-neck. “I still don’t see why we had to stop so far out of our way when there’s an ATM right across the street from the bar.”
“You can call the shots when you’re the one that’s paying,” said Allyson as she fastened her seat belt.
“No need to snap at Courtney. How would she know that you just have to use the ATM in the building where your sugar daddy lives?” said Trish.
Allyson knew what Trish was insinuating, but she had to let it slide. They didn’t know she had a brother and she wanted to keep it that way. She was afraid that if they ever found out, they’d be staking out the New Towers waiting for the opportunity to throw their underwear at Tim, and Trish would be breaking her neck to be the first one. Allyson hated Trish more than any of the others. She was the only one whose background could come close to her own. Trish Shaw was old money black bourgeois who could trace her heritage back to the original Sugar Hill elites in Harlem. While the Shaws were not as rich as the Russells, they had a lot of clout in the social world they were all a part of because of their political connections. Allyson knew it was why she was always challenging her. But Allyson also knew that even Trish needed to be put in her place every once in a while.
“You’re right, Trish. By the way, your dad says, hello.”
“No, I think you’re confused. My dad has better taste,” said the young artificial blonde, as she pulled her coat over her slinky black dress.
“Now he does. Too bad we can’t say the same when he got married.”
“Don’t start, you two,” said Monica. “No need to ruin a perfectly good evening before it gets started.”
“I’m not the one that’s PMS-ing,” said Trish.
“That’s because you’re menopausing,” said Allyson.
“Ouch,” said Courtney.
“I just hope we get there before it gets crowded and they start watering down the drinks,” said Monica as she looked at herself in a compact mirror to fix her makeup while trying to keep her long auburn tresses out of the way.
“It’s not even 11:00 and the place is 30 minutes away. Honestly, Monica, try not to wet your diaper,” said Allyson.
“I bet you’re wetting yours thinking about Maxwell. You think you’re ready to kiss and make up?”
“I’m over Maxwell. I’ve got my eye on someone with much more potential.”
“Like who?”
“What?”
“I said, who?”
“Hunh?”
“Who? Who?!”
“Excuse me, I don’t speak owl.”
Courtney let out a loud shriek before cackling wildly.
“Ha-ha, how funny” scowled Monica, “By the way would you mind keeping your eyes on the road.”
“You have to admit you walked right into that, Money,” replied Courtney.
This was the last place where Allyson wanted to be: in a car full of self-centered, spoiled, and privileged AKA witches. To say that she hated being an AKA was an understatement. The only reason she joined was to shut her mother up and keep her from getting into her business. To Allyson, the AKA’s were the lowest of the sororities on campus. Most of their pledges came from middle class and buppie families with only a few rich girls here and there. In addition, she felt being with them isolated her from the other rich kids on campus, and limited her social stratosphere. She was convinced the rich white girls that she used to hang out with had started distancing themselves from her because she was part of a black sorority. This hampered her chance to make a connection with any of the premium guys that were not in the old money African – American circles. The only consolation to being an AKA was at the same time a burden. As one of the few rich girls, Allyson had a lot of rank with her sisters that she would not have had otherwise. However that rank came with a price. She was always the one that ended up paying the expenses for nights out and the different social functions they attended.
Tonight they were headed to a bar in the burbs above the Bronx that was frequented by the Alpha Phi Alpha guys from their school. Word was out that there was going to be a crush of them there that were honoring their new pledges. All of the high profile guys would be there, and there was one in particular that Allyson was looking out for, making this event a priority. Since it was a bar and not a frat house, there would be a cover charge and then they’d have to pay extra for drinks. Allyson spent the last of her allowance on her hair, designer heels, and dress for this occasion. So she had no choice but to get money from her brother to cover the rest. Leaving her sisters hanging was not an option: to do so would have amounted to social suicide in her world. Frat communities, especially within the black bourgeois, were very tight, and if you didn’t adhere to the unspoken social rules, you were excommunicated. Once you were out, you weren’t let back in, no matter how much status and money you had. As much as she resented them, Allyson needed the AKAs. Being shut out of the wider American aristocracy, the black bourgeois was the only world she had access to and it was the only world that she knew how to operate in.
It wasn’t long before they had arrived at the Riverdale Boat Club, and when they went inside it was packed with Alphas who were already getting sloppy drunk. Most of them were the scrub pledges that were being plied with drinks by the senior members. There were also some other AKA’s from another chapter at New York University. Allyson and her sisters slinked over to a table next to one where a group of senior Alphas were sitting. Not long after they took their seats, one of the staff came to their table with a bottle.
“Courtesy of the gentleman at table 7 over there,” said the woman waiting on them.
Allyson looked over and saw Maxwell raising his glass to her. She shot him an icy look before returning her attention to the party she was with.
“Here we go,” said Courtney.
“I told you. I’m done with Max.”
“Well, based on this kind gesture, it doesn’t seem like he’s through with you,” said Monica.
